Moon Lessons 2: Which Trail To Follow

Several weeks back in January, the Minnesota weather tested my endurance to cold by throwing us some awesome -8 degree weather, which actually felt more like it was in the -20 degree department.  So,  in order to prove that we are made of hardcore northern Viking material, my man and I bundled up layers of clothing, hats, mittens, scarves, wool socks, and put yak tracks on our boots.  By the time we arrived at the dog park with puppy boy, all you could see of our skin was our eye balls.  

The best part about the particular park we went to on this late Sunday morning is the hills and trails.  While your dog is off leash running anywhere and everywhere to check out all the smells, you can hike up and down these steep pathways and work up a pretty good sweat.  Moon Boy is pretty darn cute and will run ahead and explore, but will always stay at a safe distance where he can check in to make sure we are still there following behind.

At one point, we decided to veer off to the left and head up another path we had yet to take, so we called out to Moon, who was of course already ahead of us, as we trudged on in the new direction.  What happened next caught me by surprise.  I had expected Moon to turn around, come back along the path he had already been on, and THEN make his way up the same path we had just begun.  But instead (!), he crashed through the trees and brush to make a straight beeline from where he was as he sprinted to the path ahead of us.  Rather than retrace his steps, Moon forged a new path to get from point A to point B.  

This broken expectation, while a super small blip in a moment in time and could easily have gone unnoticed, got me thinking!  How often in my life have a followed a course of action just because I already had it mapped out and not necessarily because it was the most efficient or healthy option?  How often do I trudge on because it's "what I'm supposed to do" instead of looking for other ways of doing things that might be more direct, ease-ful, or enjoyable?  How often do I ignore my instincts and intuition because it's not as clear cut or perfectly paved?  And what holds me back from dashing towards my end vision or dream that I can see in my minds eye?  Fear?  Uncertainty?  Old thought patterns that don't give me the room to see a new way?

Now, there's definitely something to be said for sticking to a plan and following through with it to the end.  There are absolutely times when completing a course of action or standing by a decision is valuable and essential.  But this experience also showed me the value in taking pause to EXPLORE what's working and what's not.  Giving the opportunity to DECIDE to stay or DECIDE to change it up.  What is in my best interest and what is harming me?  Where might there be other options or paths that would get me to the same outcome but in a more ease-ful or more exciting way?

Taking time to contemplate these questions once a month (or more) is super valuable to make sure we are living a life that feels authentic and true to our highest selves.  Sometimes things change for us and sometimes staying the course is what feels best because dedicated time on a project or purpose or goal is what is needed.  With the fast paced, busy lives we lead, we can forget to evaluate, so having a regular check-in with ourselves helps remind us that we are always a work in progress and there's always room for growth or movement.  

Using Moon's namesake here as inspiration can be helpful as each month the moon becomes dark in the sky.  The new moon is an invitation to go inward... to check in with your heart, your core… to examine how you feel on the inside versus what's going on in your external world.  What feels aligned for you and what feels out of balance?  What good changes are working and what still need some adjusting and editing?  Maybe with that quiet moment with yourself you realize that your job makes you really happy or grounded right now, even if it wasn't what you thought you'd be doing.  Maybe you discover you'd rather do an in-person class, because the on-line course you've been taking isn't lighting you up like you thought.  Maybe you realize that your body needs better nutrition before you incorporate so much exercise.  Maybe it's realizing you need the joy and thrill of a new adventure to mix up the day to day normality.  Or maybe it's finding that you are super content with the way things are right now, so you're just going to enjoy and savor where you are.

This Monday, Feb 8th, 2016 is new moon time.  I encourage you to take a few minutes to yourself.  Light a candle.  Pull out a journal if that's your thing.  Close your eyes gently and place a hand to your heart.  And listen to what your inner guide tells you about what's happening for you.  Then you can make a choice…. you can keep going in the direction your headed or you can veer off to the left to take a new path or you could sprint through the trees to add a little spontaneity to your journey.  There is no right or wrong answer.  Your inner wisdom will know exactly what to do for you. 

**MN loves, if you're wanting some guidance or clarity about your journey or decisions in life, come join me for a Breathwork Healing Circle on Friday, Feb 26th, 2016 and let the breath help clear some space for contemplation.  More information about it here on the event page.  Private sessions also available for long-distance sessions.

Wolf Wisdom (For the Full Wolf Moon)

Image repost from @goddess_rising)

Today, I attended a Dreamwork Workshop where I gathered with a few women to share dreams and interpretations, lessons, inspiration.  We meet once a month and today one of the women shared her experience of the New Years retreat.  The theme was *The Wolf You Feed* and today she brought with her copies of the story that inspired the theme of the retreat.  Considering it's a Full Wolf Moon this month, I thought it appropriate to share.  You may have heard of this story before.

"One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.  

He said, 'my son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.  One is evil.  It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.  

The other is good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kinds, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. 

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 

"Which wolf wins?…"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "the one you feed."

This part of the story, I had heard before with mixed feelings about it.  Powerful, yes.  But anger, evil??  Really?  Anger doesn't feel too hot when I'm experiencing it (actually, it feels REALLY hot, as my anger resembles fire… but I digress), but evil is such a strong word.  The story, however, continues and actually ends a different way:

"The old Cherokee simply replied, "if you feed them right, they both win.  You see, if I only choose to feed the white wolf, the black one will be hiding around every corner waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention he craves.  He will always be angry and always fight the white wolf.  But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the white wolf is happy and we all win.  For the black wolf has many qualities - tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong-willed, and great strategic thinking - that I have need of at times and that the white wolf lacks.  But the white wolf has compassion, caring, strength, and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all.

You see, son, the white wolf needs the black wolf at his side.  To feed only one would starve the other and they will become uncontrollable.  To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life.  Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention.  And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowing that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance.  Peace, my son, is the Cherokee mission in life.  A man or a woman who has peace inside has everything.  A man or a woman who is pulled apart by the war inside him or her has nothing.

How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life.  Starve one or the other or guide them both." -Cherokee Story

Now this sounds inspiring to me.  I can use my feelings to fuel my growth and transformation and healing.  Or I can allow them to sabotage or block or get in my own way.  The anger I'm feeling can blind me to rage… or I can use it as a flag of my inner truth trying to get my attention: "huh, I'm feeling angry right now… what is causing this fire?  Where do I feel unfairly treated or not listened to or where does action need to happen to change this situation causing me frustration?"  Emotions themselves are not "good" or "bad".  Emotions are energy in motion that can be used as tools to create an intimate and honest relationship with ourselves, as long as they are allowed to do what they do best… be in motion.  

So let it flow!  Breathe, feel, allow.  Reflect.  Cry, scream, yell, giggle, dance it out, write it down.  Rather than starve your body from feeling your emotions by stuffing them down or numbing out, guide them.  Listen to them.  And THEN let them go, if they no longer serve you.  

Point to ponder:  What feelings to you tend to avoid feeling?  How might you support all aspects of your multidimensional human self?  What are some tools you can use to develop a healthy relationship with your emotions?

Kayaking Lessons

I stepped from the soft sandy shore into the deep blue kayak on a brisk sunny Sunday morning with the bottoms of my pants rolled up to my knees to prevent the wet and layers of fleecy long sleeved wear as insulation under the snug life jacket giving me a bear hug of reassurance.  As I lowered myself down, wiggled into my seat, prepped my oar, and braced my legs into the footholds, I took a few deep breaths.  My phone and insulin pump were tucked into plastic zipblock bags for protection, but I said a little prayer to my guardian angels that I wouldn't flip over in the water and put those plastic shields through the test of waterproof-ness.  With a quick shove from my teacher guide behind me, I found myself suddenly floating out into the water.

At first, the kayak felt a little shaky, like a toddler learning to use unsteady legs, as I tried to find center, realizing I was holding my breath.  In order to hold my kayak from wobbling to and fro, I braced my core and didn't dare look to the left, right, or behind me to watch the rest of the fleet of multi-colored kayaks enter the water.  But even with my eyes straight ahead as I delicately dipped each end of the paddle carefully into the water to propel me onward, I began to take in the beauty around me… the clear glass water with barely a ripple or wave… the quiet solitude of the air except for the simple splash sound of the paddle…. the blue sky with wisps of cotton ball clouds… the banks covered in towering trees who's leaves had a subtle hint of the change of color yet to come… and eventually, the backs of the other adventurers paddling ahead of me downstream.  

As the cool October breeze lightly kissed my cheeks and the sun sparkled down onto the magical twinkling water of the river, the beauty of the scenery over-road my sense of fear of being that low in the water.  My photographer artist self knew if I didn't take a photo and try to capture the moment right then, I wouldn't be able to relax until I did!  (A gal has to get a great instagram shot, right?!)  So with an inhale, I slowly let my paddle rest on the kayak, I gently and slowly reached into my zippered pocket of my fleece vest under my life jacket, and I pulled out my phone to snap some pictures.  After gingerly turning to get a shot of my mom, the river, and the sky, I slipped it back into the zipblock, then into my pocket, zipping it up for safe keeping.  Exhale!  I did it!  And with new vigor and confidence, I paddled forward with more relaxation, contentment, and an ease to enjoy the present moment.  

Over the course of the river journey, being in the kayak got me thinking about the metaphor to life.  When setting out to try or start something new, there's some fear.  There's some shakiness.  Some unsteady sensations.  In my case, in moving back to my roots after a few years of being away, there's a little apprehension.  A little bit unsure if a gal is going to find her tribe again.  Some fear of getting started in a new place.

But just like learning to walk with putting one foot in front of the other… putting one side of the paddle into the water… and then the other… one day at a time... you find yourself moving forward.  Sometimes you splash some cold water on your legs.  Sometimes you start to veer off course to one side and have to correct your direction.  Sometimes you bump into another boat (which ends up helping you push off it for some momentum).  And sometimes you have to stop paddling because you need to rest your arms.  And that's when you can practice FLOATING.  Letting the river herself carry you for awhile until you're ready to pick up where you left off.  

Just make sure to remind yourself to breathe. #onward!

Point to ponder: When was a time that you were afraid to do something but did it anyway?  How did you feel before, during, and after?  How did you handle the situation and what did you learn from the experience?  

Reflections on the Table

One of the most beautiful things I've seen in this world has been when I get to witness a person on the massage table during a healing session. Whether their head is in my reiki-ing hands, I'm feeling and clearing their chakra energy with esoteric healing, or I’m holding space for the emotions to move through their body with breathwork (or a combo of all three), it always has me bowing down in awe to the beauty of the human body and spirit. Recently, I had the opportunity to be on the other side, to be in the other role, as my body was calling out to get some reiki from one of my healer friends. I was the one to climb up on the table to receive this time. And I was surprised by how hard it was! 

Healing treatment room at Maha Rose Center for Healing in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

If you've ever experienced a session before, you know what it feels like to be vulnerable and laid bare so to speak in another’s hands. It takes courage, bravery, and trust. It takes a willingness to let the walls down, take off the mask, and be seen exactly as we are in that moment. I know for me this can be hard when the rest of the time I'm running around trying to look like I've got all my shit together. Trying to seem strong and in control of what life is delivering to me.  At the beginning of the session that day, I found myself bracing my muscles as if to try to hold my own self up, rather than letting my weight sink into the massage table and be supported.  It took a conscious effort for me to relax each muscle, to take deep breaths, and to just.... BE.  To receive.  

 And what I realized as I climbed onto that table: there is a quiet kind of strength needed in order to soften and open and receive, whether it be as simple as accepting a compliment or gesture of kindness. Whether it's a physical gift or an offer for help and assistance. Whether it's a healing session, bodywork, coaching, or intuitive guidance. It takes an inner strength to allow ourselves to be on the other end of "the giving".

And I had to ask myself, why then do we do it??  Why do *I* in particular have a business that asks people to receive when it's also a challenge for us to do sometimes?   It took me some time to contemplate this question.

And my reflection: because the body loves it. The body CRAVES it. Receiving brings balance to the yin and yang. The masculine and feminine. It creates reciprocity.  Flow.  Think the infinity symbol: what flows out also flows back to us.  When we finally stop fighting or resisting and sink into the glory of receiving, it feels SO GOOD. In a healing session, the nervous system relaxes and the body has a chance to restore and heal. Accepting the compliment expands our joy and appreciation for ourselves. Getting help from a friend leaves us feeling supported, connected, loved. And then the effects of that acupuncture, birthday gift, hand written note in the mail, random bouquet of flowers, ripples out in ways we probably don't even see!

And so glorious receivers, I am awed by you.  Inspired by you.  Encouraged by you.  I raise a toast to us all: may we continue to allow ourselves to receive with strength, courage, and vulnerability.

Point to Ponder: in what ways can you soften to receiving?  What are some of your favorite ways to receive?