With The Time We Have (a plug for simple pleasures)
Content warning: I briefly mention losing a loved one, so take care of yourself if you need to skip this one. xo!
My dad died when he was 38.
In response to hearing that fact when I would share it, most folks say to me, “oh, he was so young". And he was. Over the years, I’ve had half a thought about what it will feel like to turn 38 myself and if it will be a big deal and how I might feel about it.
Having turned 37 in December, I’m a little surprised that it’s already fully on my mind. I’m realizing how young my dad really was, in a way I didn’t understand as a kid. I’m reminded of that simple truth that life is short and we aren’t given a guarantee of how many years we get on this beautiful planet.
Leading up to my birthday this year, I wondered, “if I only got 38 years in this particular body, in this particular story, in this particular time, how am I living?” What am I doing with my one precious life?
birthday selfie!
*
And when I say “what am I doing with my life?”, I don’t necessarily mean the big career goals or lifetime milestones, although those are great to contemplate too. Lately though, I’ve been mostly thinking about how I spend my days. How I live in the mundane, in-between moments of everyday life. Like, am I actually paying attention to the taste of each sip of coffee? Am I allowing myself to stare out the window and daydream? Do I take the time to notice how the air feels on my skin or to savor the way my body sweats when I work out? Do I let the sound of Hazel’s whining when she wants to play make me feel frustrated because I’m focused on what I need to get done or do I let it be a reminder to take a break and savor her puppy energy while it’s still here? (the answer to that one is both! ha!)
Or am I simply rushing from one thing to the next? Always focused on what’s to come? Getting stuck in the scroll and the expectations of productivity? Feeling stressed in the tasks on the never-ending to-do list? Giving into hustle and grind culture and letting that dictate my worthiness?
Where am I placing the power of my attention and how am I spending my time?
*
Even just bringing awareness to the simple pleasures that make me happy to be human have helped me be more intentional in my routines and rituals. Knowing that we don’t actually live forever provides a litmus test for making decisions on how we want to craft our life and remembering to pay attention. When I think about my favorite parts of being human, it usually includes those tiny little things like a hot shower, a full nights sleep, a walk in the woods, seeing the most beautiful sunset sky, jamming to a song that makes each of the cells in my body vibrate, having a heart to heart conversation, laughing so hard I might pee my pants, COFFEE, hugs, a book that expands my mind or enthralls my imagination… the list goes on and on……… In honor of my dad, I’ll be exploring all of the things that I’d put on my simple pleasures list!
*
And I admit: some days are a total flop when it comes to paying attention to the moments! The other day, I arrived at our evening walk with the dogs and I felt so far out of my body, so swirly up in my mind, my jaw clenched so tightly, and my eyes so tired from staring at a screen that I realized I forgot to take breaks like I had promised myself. I forgot to eat mindfully and breathe deeply, even if just for a few minutes. It certainly is a practice to keep coming back to.
It feels impossible some days to be present and I know we all have life experiences (jobs we have, people who rely on us for care, how resourced we are) that might determine how much flexibility and capacity we have for some of these things. I think when we pay attention to our senses and those simple things that bring joy…. they can be touchstones for presence and awareness that feel accessible as we move about our day despite our circumstances.
*
So for the full moon this weekend, my wish for you (and for me!) is that you (we!) explore and savor the simple pleasures that make us feel most alive. For those of us in the northern hemisphere, winter is still here and it’s the perfect time for finding those cozy things that make us warm, rested, nourished, dreamy, deep, and still.