Litmus Test For Living
Before we get too far away from 2023, I’d like to pay tribute to one of my theatre professors who passed away back in May.
Even though I hadn’t seen her in years, I knew Teresa was struggling with cancer and I happened to run into her in one of the most kismet of ways a year ago in February of 2023.
I was heading into Williams Arena at the University of Minnesota for a men’s basketball game with my man. Our usual door that we always go in because of its closeness to the ramp we park in happened to be locked that day and we were rerouted to the front doors of the stadium. Right as we were walking past an Uber that had pulled over by the sidewalk, out of the car pops Teresa and her husband going to the game too.
A handful of minutes either way and I would’ve totally missed her. Instead, we got to chat and laugh briefly while we waited in line to show our tickets (making Teresa laugh was always the best because she had a GREAT sense of humor) and we parted ways with the promise of a coffee date sometime soon.
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Then on a Monday in May, I was doing my after-dinner evening walk with our puppy Hazel and that magical moment of meeting on that February afternoon popped into my head out of the blue. I thought about how wild it was that we ran into each other in such an unlikely place and time.
Two days later, I received a text saying she had passed early that week. It was like she was popping into my awareness right before she headed for the stars. I’m happy my last memory of her was one where she had that twinkle in her eye and a joy in her step. She had looked good!
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Teresa was one of my college theatre professors at St. Kate’s, a university located in MN where I graduated with degrees in theatre and theology. She mostly taught acting during my time there and her classes were my favorite.
One of my best memories of her was when a friend and I were so amped up and passionate about an acting method we’d read about in a book that we asked Teresa if she’d meet with us to do an “independent study”. She said yes! We’d meet once a week, early in the morning before classes would start, and go through the exercises in the book. We certainly didn’t get credit for it because it was “off the books”, so I’m pretty sure Teresa didn’t get paid for her time as she was a part time adjunct professor at that point. She was just doing it because we loved it and she loved it.
And that’s one of the things I came to realize from all the people who spoke at her celebration of life.
Teresa loved what she did.
My path crossed with hers early on in her tenure at St. Kate’s and unfortunately the theatre department there no longer exists. But just from everyone’s stories, especially from the students and staff who came after me, Teresa fought hard for the arts. She was always helping people see the connection between acting/storytelling/theatre/art and LIFE. She brought her love of acting into any professional job she had, even coaching leadership at Target. The other fun thing to learn about her was how she took her role as a mom just as seriously and passionately.
She loved what she did.
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Since her celebration, I’ve often found myself thinking about her and reflecting on her life well-lived and well-loved. When I think back to my ferocious passion for acting and theatre… and when I consider how short this one lifetime is… it inspires me to use this barometer as a litmus test for living:
Do I love what I’m doing?
And how can I do more of what I love?
Now, life is certainly about doing things that make us uncomfortable and is full of things we don’t love. Like, I don’t love paying taxes (especially when they fund war materials and not universal healthcare!), going to the doctor, cleaning the toilet, paying my student loans from said liberal arts degree. There’s also certain privileges that come from being white, straight, and living in a two-income household with fur kids who don’t need astronomically priced childcare.
Part of being human is to chop wood and carry water. Some of us might have more flexibility with our time than others.
But of the time I DO have control of… say, my free time: am I doing what I love? Are there other ways of spending my time that are more LIFE-filling?
It’s easy to get caught in the rut or the scroll or the routine or “this is what I’ve always done” or “this is what I’m expected to do”.
So as we move through this waning moon time, let’s take time to look at where we put the power of our attention and where we spend our energy. The waning moon cycle is great for noticing where we might be ready to release and make space.
What tiny changes can we make so we can find more moments to fill with the things we love? When the world is on fire, how can we continue to chase joy so we have the endurance to stand up for humanity?
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A big heartfelt thank you to Teresa. For the time spent those many years ago in the classroom and the rehearsal room and the stage. Thank you for reminding me to never stop going after and enjoying the things that I love. Whenever you want to do that coffee date from the stars, I’ll be there!