Quest for Zest

Sunday this past week was a dark day for me.  Despite being around beautiful people in a healing space, I found myself slipping into worry, anxiety, and victimhood.  Why is my life a mess?!  How am I ever going to make it?!  Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing??  Have I made a wrong choice or a wrong turn?  I should just lay down in my bed and give up!  Chatter, chatter, so much negative mind chatter!

On the subway ride home, I allowed myself to fully lean into and wallow in my self-pity, wounded-heart state.  I put on some music to fit the mood, popped in my earbuds, and fully FELT my despair in the middle of a crowded public subway car.  When I got home, I was reminded, as I cooked myself up some grub, that when I don't take care of my body by getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and moving my body to get out of my damn head, I feel depleted, apathetic, and negative.  (I wonder how many times I will have to fall into that hole before I remember that lesson…)

Later that night, I was gifted an uplifting conversation with my brother about his new mindset mantra, which provided a shift for me.  He was sharing that when he got off the subway earlier that day after being engrossed in a fiction book, he had felt like he had not actually been on the subway, but had instead traveled miles away to a different and new time and place.  He felt alive and reinvigorated as he he approached the rest of his day!  And he wondered how he could carry this sense of aliveness and adventure into his current reality.  He decided to engage in a quest for zest!

So….. Monday morning brought my bounce back to my step.  I woke up with a new lightness and optimism that a good night's rest and a fresh mindset brings.  The search for zest.  Feeling the pavement under my feet.  Appreciating the fresh breeze caressing my cheek.  The joy of finding a bright penny on the sidewalk.  The glee from imagining my high priestess crown glittering on the top of my head when skipping past my reflection in a shop window.  Walking the puppy in the rain while belting out Christmas tunes in a Gene Kelly-esque way.  Strolling through a bundle of fir trees for sale and taking a deep inhale of glorious pine scent.  Simple pleasures that make life feel alive.  Feel zesty.

And with that I've decided this December I am going to invite myself (and you!) to find the zest in the every day experiences.  Especially the kind of zest that exists in self care and tender-heartedness.  Like crawling into comfy, warm sheets early because I'm tired.  Or taking a moment to sit in meditation because it brings me out of my worrying head and into my intuitive body.  It seems very synchronistic that the very day (December 1st!) I engaged in this quest, I also saw the 31 day challenge to #finishwithheart2014 on Instagram, inspiring me to not let the last month of the year fall away, but to really seize the time I have and finish out strong.  With heart. Yes.  Yes, oh yes.  Let's do this!

Love, light, heart, and zest to you!

Warm Heart Gratitude

fall leaves, cool breeze
warm heart to a Thanksgiving start #gratitude #evermorethanks

With the anticipation growing for the Macy Day Parade naps (a family tradish) and my brother's vegan pumpkin pie (get the recipe he found here - the gluten free crust tis amazingly delish!) as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches, I can feel my heart swell with gratitude for so many things in my life, but especially for my community of support.

I took a giant leap of faith this year.  Jumping into the world of entrepreneurship by quitting my day job has been scaring and thrilling.  Being public with my writing, my struggles, my triumphs, and my discoveries has been a growing process of being more comfortable sharing my authentic self with the world and taking up more space.

The past two years I have been on an introspective, inwards spiritual journey of discovering more deeply who I am and what I'm about.  This growing period can be quite isolating!  As I feel myself emerging and unfolding from this cocoon over the last several months, I am realizing the power and grace that comes from connecting with my soul-mates.  Attending and leading circles, I have seen intentions manifest, tears shed, dreams come true, and love of self and others abound.  Participating in self-healing and self-discovery workshops, I have witnessed, felt, and held a depth and beauty of allowing and being ourselves exactly as we are. 

"What seems unbearable in isolation may become tolerable with the support of shared experiences." - Tami Lynn Kent, Wild Feminine

Thank you for being here with me.  

Every post you "like" and blog you read is so much appreciated.  Wanting to make my life's work be of service to humanity has taught me that I need your light as much as the world needs my light.  We are connected.  We are one beating heart of the world.  Together we can experience the joys and the pains of being human.

"Shared joy is double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow." -Swedish Proverb

Evermore thanks for being a part of my journey and I am so honored to be a part of yours.  
From my warm heart to yours… xo!

Sweet Soul Rising

"Be encouraged at the New Moon, and breathe in the spirit of Sagittarius - let it revive your weary soul, and bring the twinkle back to your eyes….the jovial heart of the archer is restless for inspiration, friendship, and love…" - Molly Hall, MysticMamma

This month, the new moon is in my sign
Sagittarius
So it feels like coming home

Expansive
Freedom-loving
Truth-seeking
Enthusiasm

Sit for a moment with me
Light a candle
Deep breaths
Feeling the heavens and earth on opposite ends of the spine
Connected to soul light above
Grounded to root below

Hands on heart
What emotions are there?
Is there anything coming up for you now that your heart wants you to hear?

Breathe in love
Breathe out fear
Inhale gratitude
Exhale resistance

In this place of presence
Of stillness
Of quite
And of gentleness and tenderness for self
Ask that inner knowing, that inner voice who knows your truth...

"What gleeful new beginning will bring expansion and freedom to my life now?
What would I do if I were fearless?
Sweet soul rising, what can I do this cycle to make my spirit sing?"

And with the energy of the New Moon supporting intentions
Let's join our hearts together
To rise and expand

"The Sagittarius New Moon message is to create your future from the power of your vision… Your creative self-expression comes from your magical inner child.  Your inner child is your dazzling soul.  Empower your soul." -Kelley Rosano, MysticMamma

The Choice to Change

Being in the business of change, transformation, and healing, I've done a lot of reading on motivation.  It's easy to read copious amounts of information on healthy habits, but it can be more difficult to put it into place.  At the end of the day, we know deep down inside our bodies what is good for us and what we need, but putting that into action is another story.  I'm sure we all know that it's better to eat veggies over candy, drinking water is a key component to health, and getting enough sleep a night is essential.  Getting into the routine of doing those things can be so hard when the holidays tempt us with festive treats, coffee and alcohol taste more fun, and the internets are just waiting to be explored into the wee hours of the night!

So I've been doing a lot of thinking about how to motivate making healthier choices.  Going back over my own history, I realized that no matter how much you read or what people tell you, YOU have to WANT it.  You have to want it more than you want to stay right where you are.  Want it enough to go through the potential discomfort of consciously making change until it becomes a habitual lifestyle (and then there's always temptations to bust through on a daily basis!  Oh life, you rascal you!). I read a brilliant, empowering article recently by healer Erin Telford and she writes:

"Everything and all things are available.  We are afraid of and resist change because it means that we will need to make different choices and take different action.  When you change your way of being, you can get push back on the new you. 

True transformation in any area of your life can only happen at the level of commitment that you have to wanting the change.  When your mindset is aligned with growth, you know that every step forward is solidifying the foundation for a stronger, healthier-on-all-levels You!  Sometimes you need to hit a breaking point in your health to be able to push back and say enough! "

(To read her full post on Do You Believe You Can Change, get it here!  It's a good read!)

Two moments from my own life, I would like to share with you:

Moment one: when I was back in college and very overweight, I would drink 2-3 diet cokes everyday.  I remember being at home and one of my siblings brought up how unhealthy that habit was in a "mini-interventional" type moment (among other habits I was involved in…like eating too many sweets...) and I got so upset!  Having a mirror put up in front of me caused anger, tears, and defensiveness (despite the fact that the intervention was only out of love for me).  I wasn't ready to hear it or to face what I was seeing in this mirror. 

About a year later, I stopped drinking soda regularly.  On my own timing, I finally made a change.

Moment two: at my doctor's appointments back during my rebel stage of not taking care of myself, hearing the litany of complications in attempts to almost scare me into obedience was a regular doctor visit occurrence.  Then, at one appointment, the nurse practitioner asked me if I just wanted to take a break from my diabetes.  How many months did I want to just let everything go, before I could get back on the bandwagon?  I was SHOCKED that he was giving me permission to not make any healthy changes!  Instead of being shamed about being "bad", he was validating that taking care of diabetes is a hard, LIFE-long task.  I thought about it quietly for a moment, considering my options, and then said I was ready to take responsibility again.  That very day.  What I needed, perhaps, was to be given the CHOICE to CHANGE.  

So, dear star-beings, I am here to hold space for you wherever you are at in your process.  If you need to take a moment to indulge in a rebel-stage of your own, I am here for you!  Take it!  Allow yourself, without guilt or shame, to be exactly where you are!  Enjoy it, knowing that you have the power and choice to change directions whenever you are ready.

If you are at the point where you feel ready to take the step to make some changes in your life, I am also here for you!  If you have hit your breaking point and are saying "enough!", I am cheering you on and ready to provide loving support, guidance, tips, and inspiration, as it can be difficult and exhilarating at the same time.  

The beauty in all of this is that we have choice.  We don't have to stay stuck in old habits, behaviors, or programs that are no longer serving us.  And it's up to us.  It's our decision.  How empowering!