Creativity + Cooking…and a recipe

Let's talk about food sensitivities and allergies for a moment.  There is some heated debate about whether they are real or just a hot new fad, particularly in regards to gluten.  I'd love to discuss this with science and nutrition theories, cause there's a lot of information out there (another blog post fo'shizzle!), but for now, I'd like to share what I know is true for me: 

Some foods after eating them, make me feel lethargic, bloated, gassy, and I'm pretty sure cause my skin to breakout.  When I don't eat these foods (namely gluten, dairy, corn, and sadly maybe chocolate… wahhhhhh!), my blood sugars are awesome, I have regular bowel movements (poop talk is important in health conversations!), and I feel nourished.  I don't get hives or need an epi pen when I eat these things I suspect my body can't tolerate, so it's not a full-blown allergy, but there is not a doubt that being constipated and bloated is really the pits.  So, I'd prefer to cut them out of my meals because I want to feel light, energetic, satisfied, and have clear skin on the regular.  

But, this also brings in a very clear picture of how much emotion we attach to food (hence, the term "emotional eating").  I LOVE DAIRY.  Cheese, yogurt, cream in my coffee.  I love it all.  Chocolate is my favorite comfort food, especially around my moon cycle, and there is a little feeling of loss when deciding to cut out my favorites.  A little grieving for my favorite childhood comfort foods.  And I have been known to bemoan to my siblings about the extra planning and scheming it takes to really stick to keeping these delicious and often sneaky ingredients out of my belly.  Many convenience foods contain common allergens, so making sure I have healthy snacks with me to provide energy throughout the day requires some planning.  (Plus finding a vegan, plant-based protein powder has been a HUGE, frustrating challenge!  Let me know if you have one you like!)

Choosing to eat this way also requires creativity.  I realized recently that I need to change my mindset a bit in this area.  I've been on-again, off-again with my devotion to cleaning up my diet, but have decided that with the spring energy of detoxing, I want to recommit seriously to supporting my body's needs and preferences.  So rather than complaining and feeling frustrated with having food sensitivities, I can approach it with a sense of creativity and curiosity and playfulness and adventure.  How can I make this dish that I love be more friendly for my body (aka dairy-free, gluten-free) and have it taste just as, if not more, delicious?  This is a quest and an adventure that I'm going to be exploring this season (and this year!) whilst sharing the results with you, in case this is a topic that resonates with you.  

So first up, a success of a new dish I am completely obsessed with!  I saw a friend eating this amazingly creamy and yummy looking breakfast out of a jar one day.  You mean something so decadent can be easily carried with you as you run out the door?!  Yes, yes it can!  The original recipe includes yogurt, so you dairy eaters out there are welcome to include that back in.  What I love about this recipe is that it's super easy to make a big batch or put it in individual containers for a single serving to grab on the go.  You can play with a variety of flavors of fruit additions (frozen, dried, or fresh) as well as adding nuts, seeds, nut butters, or additional protein for a little extra oooomph!  My favorite is just simply adding frozen raspberries, but go wild!

Give it a taste test and let me know what you think.  

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

Now over to you!  Do you have food sensitivities or food allergies?  How do you feel when you avoid eating these things?  If you have any gluten-free, dairy-free recipes you just love, let me know… I'll include them in my quest for creativity in cooking!  

Sisterhood in Breath

Image: Sisterhood of the Divine Feminine by Lila Violet

I found myself again
in a familiar cozy room
surrounded by a huge group of women
each taking time
to go inward
to let go of what brings fear
to call in our greatness and our desires
unique intentions for each
and yet, the same, as they resonated deep
for me, releasing scarcity and unworthiness
filling up with abundance of self love

in what felt like a sacred slumber party
yoga blankets and pillows
lying on our backs in a soft dark room
we began to breathe together
belly, heart, open mouth
as one
holding each other up in rhythm and support
belly, heart, open mouth

feeling a block of energy
a tightness, a tension
rise from my root
through my second chakra
belly, heart, open mouth
solar plexus and torso
up to the heart center
belly, heart, open mouth
"just breathe"
throat and jaw
"I surrender, please move through me"
forehead and 6th chakra
belly, heart, open mouth
I could feel the center of my intuition open
tears slipped out 
for all the times I felt weird or hid my light out of fear

and with a yell, I broke free
tightness and tension dissolved
to the pure energy of my power, brilliance, and true self
surging through my body from head to toe
I am here
hands and heart open to receive 
this is me when I allow myself to be
I am choosing to give myself permission to take up glorious space in this life
joy, pure joy and warm bliss
for finally allowing and claiming my birthright

then, hearing another sister's yell in the room
I felt the urge to join her
and continued to shout, scream, rumble
as grief, pain, fear, shame, guilt
for all women
swept through my body

for my grandma
for my mom
for my sister
for my aunts, cousins, friends
for my ancestors who came before me
for women in other countries
who I don't even know
but in that moment
felt connected like blood family

and I sobbed
I wept
for the violence, oppression, rape, devaluing
for the times we've made ourselves small or felt unimportant
for the times when we have hated our bodies and distrusted our wisdom

and then I felt Mother Earth beneath me
my roots became her roots
and I cried for all the ways we've ravaged her
when all she does is rise to meet us
with stability and beauty and grace

but this story isn't all about pain
after purging all that
grief, pain, fear, shame, guilt
I began to sing
first from my heart
one long light note
and then from my womb
one deep tone vibrating in my feminine center
and finally, as soft and sweet as a bird
as we broke free
belly, heart, open mouth

lying in quiet savasana
returing to normal breathing
present in my beautiful  body
I heard a voice when I asked what I can do to serve?
"Just heal yourself, Helen.
Not because you are broken.
But because you are whole."

in that moment
feeling the women of the world
linked arm in arm
my ancestors and a wise woman at my back
brave, breathing women around me in the room
I saw the abundance of Pachumama 
in a big solid tree with roots that run deep
in a wave of the ocean
shimmering in a multicolored rich sunset
in a leaping fire dancing with me next to it
moving my body in the rhythm of my own wild, fiery spirit
with no inhibitions or self consciousness
only a deep love for all beings and sweet sensuality for being alive

realizing we are all connected
we are all one
WE are the WHOLE
and I can be a voice for the whole
I will scream for you
wail for you
sing for you

and for me

as we break free

She is the Moon

“The light of the moon ebbs and flows.”

— Alana Fairchild

Image artist: Rassouli - Journey of Love cards

The more I pay attention to the cycles of the moon and the cycles in myself, I am starting to notice how subtly they exist in me.  The past couple of days this week, and very strongly today, I have been feeling… hmmmm…. "sensitive" is perhaps the right word.  More lonely, more apathetic, more tired.  Rather than exercising, my body feels like snuggling.  Rather than engaging in social media and responding to emails, I feel like being quiet, hidden, and mysterious.  Instead of wanting to go out and be around lots of people (which my extroverted nature usually enjoys), I feel like staying home or walking with the puppy amongst the trees.  In the past, I would start to judge myself by thinking, "what is WRONG with me???" as I would try to push myself through with extra doses of caffeine and shameful guilting in the tone of "pull yourself together, giiiirl!"  I could feel that impulse in myself even today as I looked at a long to-do list and felt the strongest of urges to just crawl in bed with a book.  

Over the past several months, since starting my healing practice, I’ve noticed this trend that there’s a time each month where I don’t feel like being public or being seen.  At first I thought it was just apathy towards my business and frustrated urges to just throw in the towel.  But now I can see the connection that this time usually arises near the new moon and is a very normal and valuable part of the feminine cycle of energy.  And so rather than pushing myself or "whipping the race horse" into action, today I consciously softened the wall I could feel myself building and allowed my feelings to have the space to just be.  Tired.  Sad.  Frustrated.  Thankful.  Sleepy.  Fearful.  Deep love.  Surprised joy.  Soft around the edges.  Inward.  Contemplative.  Slow.  And actually, lo and behold!  I still got the things done that needed to be done and I feel better.  Lighter.  Honored.  Respected.  Loved.  Because I listened to myself.  

“The wisdom of patience is that of the gardener who consults the lunar calendar - the right timing promoting growth, planting when there is fertile soil and allowing the soil to rest and replenish when it needs to.”

— Alana Fairchild

This Friday, March 20th, is a super new moon, solar eclipse, spring equinox all wrapped up in one (no wonder I’ve been feeling exhausted!).  As we start to shed our layers of clothing with the longer days and the warmer weather of the season's change, our bodies also begin to let go of the extra insulation we may have held onto over the cold, hibernating months.  If you've been feeling the need to do a detox in some part of your life, the earth's energy is supporting you in that right now.  It's time to do some spring cleaning and the new moon is inviting us to go inward to see what inner layers we are ready to shed.  When the moon is dark in the sky, we can follow her example by allowing ourselves quiet time to retreat, reflect, rest, reset.  To center, contemplate, clear.  To honor ourselves; honor where we’ve come from and all that we’ve accomplished while honoring where we want to go and the intentions we hold dear.

I invite you to take a few quiet moments to yourself and join me in going inward (it feels really good to honor, respect, and love yourself in this way).  Maybe light a candle.  Perhaps have your journal handy.  Share with a  dear friend if you feel called.  Taking a couple deep breaths and placing a hand gently on your heart.  Closing your eyes if that feels good.  Ask your inner wisdom:

• What thought pattern, idea, habit, relationship, or emotion am I ready to clean out and let go of because it is holding me back from living to my greatest potential?
• What would I like to see change or manifest this spring that will bring more balance and joy to my life?
• In what ways can I honor or bring more awareness to my cycles and rhythms? 
• How can I love myself more each day in this new season? 

And then listen softly as the answers come to you.  Maybe they'll float up as images.  Maybe they'll be clear as day as words or thoughts.  You will know what is right for you.

This Spring Equinox Super New Moon, I send gratitude to the beauteous, mysterious, and wise moon - who is guiding me into deeper, more intimate relationship with my body and my feminine self.  I also send gratitude to you… my community here.  Thank you for being my witness along my healing journey.

Tips for Listening to Your Body

Image: artist unknown

This Saturday, March 14th, will be the 15th anniversary of being diagnosed with diabetes.  Per usual around this time of year, the approaching day has me reflecting on living life with a disease and how it has impacted my life.  I can say the gift diabetes has given me is how it has taught me to be in tune with my body.  In my mind, it seems like having “control” of type 1 diabetes is much like walking a tight rope.  A very fine line, balancing act.  Blood sugars are a little too high and you’re tired, lethargic, and harming your organs.  Let your blood sugars get too low and you get shaky, sweaty, and tunnel vision that makes you want to eat the house down.  Being able to feel the slightest change in my equilibrium is important. Food, sleep, exercise, hormones, stress… pretty much everything about life is a variable to influencing shifts in sugar numbers.

 Zooming out from this scenario in my life to the bigger, universal story of humanity, it seems most of us are in this quest for balance.  Career, family, spirituality, social life, health, fitness, finances, creativity…. How do we do it and can we have it all?  There’s a lot of talk about balance as if it were something we finally achieve once and then we have it forever.  But like living with diabetes, living a fulfilled life is about balance-ing.  It’s an ongoing practice.  

 In my healing practice, I work with clients to create structures and habits to support the practice of balancing all the passions they have in their life and one of the key tools is learning to listen to the body.  Your body has wisdom and the ability to heal itself given the chance.  She knows what she needs.  He can guide you to what’s working and what’s not.  When we don’t listen to our body, she or he will try to get our attention, typically with emotions first and then with physical ailments, if we don’t create the space for change and realignment.  So without the “built in barometer” of a disease like diabetes to give a crash coarse in the balancing act, how does one learn to listen, or as I like to say, come home to the body?  Here are five tips I’ve found valuable:

1) Slow down and quiet.
Constantly being surrounded by electronic devices and the distractions of busyness we tend to get ourselves into, we need to find ways to consciously give ourselves time to go inward.  With so much stimulation around us, it can be hard to just sit and be!  But in the quiet and the calm is where the answers lie.  Some suggestions: meditate, eat your meals mindfully without the TV on or scrolling through social media on your phone or reading blogs on the computer, set your alarm for the middle of your day and take ten conscious deep breaths, attend circles or healing workshops, schedule in time on your calendar each week to do something that brings you joy and peace (even if you have to get a babysitter!), start aligning to the cycles of nature (hibernate in the winter, rest when you are on your moon cycle).

2) Journal.
When I was young, I could never keep a diary because after one day of trying to write step by step what I did that day I was bored to tears.  Now, however, my journal is one of my best healing partners and guides.  Allow yourself to be creative here.  Maybe you just let stream of consciousness flow.  Maybe you start with a gratitude list just to get the pen on paper.  Maybe you write about a dream you had or a situation that happened recently you need to get off your chest.  This is for you to tune in to what’s going on in the deepest part of you.  Some suggestions of prompts to get started: what is new and good in my life right now?  What would I like to see changed?  What am I ready to let go of that’s been holding me back?  What am I feeling in this moment now and where do I feel it in my body?  How can I be more supportive and loving to myself?

3)  Ground into your body.
It’s so easy to get caught up and spend most of our time in our minds.  While our mental capacity is a beautiful, intelligent, essential part of our being that allows us to ponder, analyze, strategize, plan, we also sometimes get caught up in chatter and judgment that isn’t helpful.  We get caught up in worry circuits and old thought programs that no longer serve us.  We get disconnected from our body.  Getting back into the body and grounding to the earth will allow inspiration to come and be able to listen to what’s coming up for you with more ease.  Some suggestions: go outside into nature, exercise, eat root veggies, participate in an activity like shoot hoops or play golf, paint, dance, take a yoga class, get some bodywork/energy healing/acupuncture/massage, sing.  Water can also be grounding so take a shower, wash the dishes, go to your favorite river, lake, stream, ocean view.  

 4)  Foster self-love with self-care.
Ultimately, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.  By taking time to care for yourself in loving, gentle, and attentive ways, you hold the space for this relationship with you to become intimate and deep in understanding, compassion, and growth.  Self-care is not selfish (you need to fill up your cup so you can live your purpose and give care to others!), so splurge here and really love yourself up.  Suggestions: take a hot salt bath, get enough sleep, cook your favorite meal, slather your skin with the best lotion, get a mani/pedi, say 'yes' when you want to say 'yes', say 'no' when you want to say 'no', get some bodywork/energy healing/acupuncture/massage, do things that bring you pleasure and enjoyment.

 5)  Trust yourself.
When it comes to listening to your body, you know you best.  You’ve been living with yourself longer than with anyone else.  The more you listen and respond in kind, the more clear and strong your body will communicate with you.  Two things about this:
*Honor your individuality.  What’s true for someone else may not be true for you.  Gathering information and resources is always helpful, but at the end of the day, sit with it to see what resonates most for you.  Then try that on for size, trusting the feedback your body will give you.
*Self-trust can be a muscle we have to build.  If we are constantly saying we are going to do something and consistently don’t do it, then we won’t really believe ourselves, will we?  Let’s stop breaking the promises we make to ourselves – they are just as important as the promises we make to others.  So start small:  Today, I’m going to drink one glass of water.  Today I’m going to tell myself in the mirror that I love myself just as I am.  And then DO it!  Set small promises you know you can keep so you can build up that trust for even bigger things:  Today I’m going to launch that new program.  Today I am going to rock that audition.  Today I am going to trust that intuitive thought my body gave me and I’m going to act on it. 

 
There are many ways and opportunities to come home to our bodies and the beauty is we don’t have to be perfect.  It’s a practice and a process.  It’s a journey.  It's a balancing.  Day by day.  Moment by moment.  This breath and this breath.  Sometimes we fall one way and sometimes we fall off the other side.  And sometimes, we walk that rope of life with ease and grace.  This Saturday, I’m going to celebrate my diabetes by honoring my body's wisdom and love her up with gratitude for all she is.  

Point to ponder: I'd love to hear from you!  What tools or tips have you found useful to listen to your body?  And what techniques do you have to bring balance to your life?  Leave a comment!