Monday Mantra :: Love Anyway

Today is the anniversary of my dad's death.  Even though it's been 19 years since he passed, I still get surprised when little pockets of grief come up for me and I'm finding that no matter how much healing work I do around it, there's always a little bit more to be felt and explored.  

Sometimes I can feel his spirit close to me, which fills me with joy and peace.  Sometimes sadness.  Or sometimes both at the same time.  And sometimes, life goes by and I don't think of him at all for awhile.  

Over the years, his anniversary has brought up different mantras or messages and this year the thing I keep hearing over and over is: 

Love anyway.

This is something my priestess friend Meredith Edwards said one time in a moon circle back when I lived in Brooklyn, which resonated with me.  When Life hands you a big ol' dose of life, LOVE ANYWAY.  And that's what I'm feeling today.

I remember an experience I had several years ago where I received some news that I'd have to say goodbye to something I loved and I could literally feel my heart closing itself off.  It felt like there where hands compressing on my heart as sadness and stubborn anger tried to spew out.  I half think this was an automatic response from experiencing such great loss in my life before, because in the next second, I could feel myself choosing to brace my heart against this closing sensation so that it could stay open.  So that I could love anyway.  It was so interesting to have such a physical response within my body to a very poetic metaphor!

Loving is hard.  There are times when it feels easy and effortless and fun and beautiful and joy-filled.  And then when we have to say goodbye or let things and people go that we care so deeply about, it feels difficult, heart-wrenching, and painful.  

So as I was thinking about my dad this morning and his last few days, I was rocking this sweet little golden 10 month old baby girl, who happens to be my dad's great niece.  New life in my arms while reminiscing on a life already lived.  And I was reminded of the great cycle of life.  That we live each new birth and death cycle with each life we encounter, each decade of our lives, each year, each month, each moon cycle, each day, each breath.... that with death there always comes new life.  And with new life there always comes death.  

It becomes our mission, if we choose to accept it, to love anyway.  In spite of it all.  We can allow death, or life in general, to compress in on our hearts so that we close them off.  And maybe sometimes we need to close up shop for awhile and that's okay too.  But then, we get to choose to love anyway and allow our hearts to be broken.  Broken open for more love.  For more life.  

To quote another friend of mine, Anne Griffin:

"Life is too short not to love with your entire heart.  It's what makes life worth living."

This week, I invite you to take moments throughout your day to remind yourself to simply love anyway, no matter how hard that may be.  Today also happens to be a full moon and we can use the moon as a mirror for us, using it as inspiration to feel into our big FULL hearts that hold so much.  Know that I am loving you with mine.  xo  

THIS WEEK'S MANTRA :: LOVE ANYWAY.  

Monday Mantra :: Listen

{By: Shel Silverstein -- Image: from Pinterest}

It's been a month since I last updated the blog and I hope this little note finds you enjoying summer and all the fresh abundance this season has to offer! 

In June around the Summer Solstice, I traveled to Joshua Tree in California to be with my teacher and breathwork community for the final level of training.  Over the course of both days of class, we paired up with different partners and took turns breathing.  

At one point during my turn to breathe on the first day, my partner had me imagine that I was in a vast void.  This brought up some fear for me.... fear around being alone.  Thankfully this sensation didn't last long!  I could feel my own self showing up for me.  It has taken me a lot of healing work to get to the point where I can trust myself to not abandon myself, but to show up as my biggest cheerleader.  AND THEN, in the next couple breaths, I felt Spirit's presence... this most amazing, warm, nurturing energy surrounded me.  And She said to me: 

"You are never alone, Helen.  I am always with you.  You're just not listening."

Whoa.  Talk about cutting right to the core of it.  I could feel this vibrate within my cells.

There's so much information and many distractions in our busy day-to-day lives.  Gurus and self-help books and experts of all kinds.  I love me some social media and there really are some positive messages to consume and lovely people to connect with as a community.  But this gentle reminder from Spirit got me thinking:  what about the wisdom from our own hearts?  The messages from our own bodies?  The whispers from the Earth?  The secrets from the seasons and the cycles of the Moon? 

I know for me, when I'm plugged-in in an unconscious way or seeking answers outside of myself, the electronics and interwebs  and information overload begins to drown out my own inner voice.  

So whether you need to reconnect to the communication between you and your higher power (whether that be Spirit, God, Goddess, Universe), with Nature, your guides, or with your own inner intuitive voice, this week's mantra is a reminder to GET QUIET and TUNE IN.  Even if just for a moment.   

Take a deep inhale and exhale.

Close your eyes gently for a moment and feel into your heart.

Say to yourself: I AM LISTENING.  

Just giving yourself a few quiet minutes each day begins to strengthen the connection between you and your inner voice.  Some other tools, if you have time for it, would be to journal with pen and paper.  Create art by drawing, painting, collaging, cooking, crafting, pottery, working with your hands.  Get outside into nature.  Find yourself near water, even if it's just in your own bathtub.  Dance.  Move your body.  Put on a playlist and do some breathwork or meditation.  Talk out loud to your body, to your heart, to your inner wisdom.  And notice how your life feels when you listen to that wise and loving voice inside.  Let me know how it goes for you!

THIS WEEK'S MANTRA :: I AM LISTENING 

Friday Focus :: Play

Happy Summer, sweet friend!

Sometimes being an adult can get so serious, so today I wanted to give you a little focus for your Friday... to carry you into this summer weekend.  It's simple and short, creative and enjoyable.

It's about inviting in more PLAY.  

How I like to look at this is: what did I love to do as a child?  What did I love most about summer when I was young and carefree?  

Let the watermelon juice run down your chin.  Wiggle your toes in the green grass.  Spend time by a body of water.  Go on a quest for fireflies.  

What brings you joy?
What makes you feel good?
Do THAT.

Engage your senses.
What invigorates your tastebuds?  What music makes you want to sway and play?  What flowers or sights make your eyes light up?  What sensations do you like to feel against your skin?  What scents make you nostalgic for days gone by?

Take a deep inhale and exhale.

Close your eyes and hold the spirit of summer and the essence of play in your heart.

Say to yourself: I INVITE IN MORE PLAY.   

As we enter into warmer weather, allow the heat to melt you and help you slow down.  Allow that inner child to emerge and help you be more playful.

Stop and take a moment to enjoy the smell of fresh cut grass, campfires, the barbecue next door.  Feel the grass under your feet, the breeze against your cheek, the light clothes on your torso, and the tickle of a feather against your arm.  Spend time in nature to soak in all the glorious beauty of creation.  Dance and jig and twirl and sing your heart out.  Indulge in your favorite ice cream flavor, gobble up all the fresh fruits and veggies, and pack an adult picnic basket with all of the fancy gourmet meats and cheeses that make you feel divine.  Pick up a game of catch or jam out with your instruments.  Play, play, play! 

Monday Mantra :: Resistance

The first beginning minutes in a breathwork session (whether in a group, by yourself at home, or in a one-on-one session) is the work phase.  Those six minutes right off the bat are some of the hardest because the mind is still wanting to be in control of the situation.  We can experience tightness, tension, a distracting dry mouth.  We come right up against our own resistance.  

This is on my mind currently because I'm about to head off to Joshua Tree, California this weekend for a two day training with my Breathwork teacher, David Elliot.  The last time I was in training with him was about two years ago and breathing for a full week removed so many old layers.  Tons of old ish got looked at, felt, and released.  It was a lot of change for one week and, while it was an AMAZING experience, it was intense.  And sometimes, once you change, it's hard to go back to the way things were.  

So as the days get closer to my departure into the magical desert land with a community of incredible breathwork people, I can feel my system preparing itself.  My energy and spirit are getting ready for whatever change might occur and I'm needing to remember to bring my body along for the ride, gently.

This has got me thinking about all of us and the mini-micro changes we go through in our day to day, as well as the big, once-in-a-lifetime changes.  

For one reason or another, we sometimes resist change.  Change is difficult, uncomfortable, freeing, exhilarating, heartbreaking, grief-filled, joyous, and empowering all at the same time.  And that can be tough on a body.

I once had an intuitive teacher tell me that it's the soul who wants to conquer mountains and go on grand adventures, but it's the body who wants to stay at home, slouch on the couch, and eat hamburgers all day.  

With this in mind we get to let our souls fly while also giving our body space to catch up (and maybe indulge in a few bonbons from time to time).  We can keep our eyes open for where we are resisting: what that looks like, how it feels, why it might be manifesting.  I know I've said this a many times before but where we have awareness by noticing and naming, the healing process can begin.  

So this week's mantra (inspired by a Moon Deck card!) helps us practice being aware of where we feel resistance and how we can move through it with self compassion.  To use this awareness as knowledge into knowing ourselves better.  

Take a deep inhale and exhale.

Scanning your body for tightness, tension, feelings of resistance, emotions.

Say to yourself: I MEET MY RESISTANCE WITH KINDNESS.  

With the full moon this past Friday, we are transitioning into a waning moon phase, which is potent time for RELEASING and cleaning out the clutter.  As the moon sheds her layers of light as she makes her way back to the "new" phase, we too can begin to peel away and move into times of change and transition with kindness.  As we move into a new season next week, or anytime you find yourself in a place where you need a little reminder to be gentle with yourself, you can use this mantra throughout your day.  

This week's mantra :: I MEET MY RESISTANCE WITH KINDNESS.