My Fear Happened…And I Survived
Recently, I decided to up my game, play big, and expand my offerings to a couple different studios in Manhattan. Creating these new opportunities has also created fears. Am I doing too much? Will anyone show up? Am I ready? Do I actually know what I'm doing???
Last night, one of my fears happened: no one showed up. But I did the work anyway.
And my lesson: I survived!
I opened the circle to the spirits in the room with me. I spoke out loud where I feel stuck in my life and in my creativity. And then I laid down on my mat to breathe. It struck me how the playlist I had been listening to and prepping for a group of people was actually just right for me in what I needed to hear and feel. I needed to show up for me.
"I want to change the world, instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.
But all that I know is I'm breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing." {Ingrid Michaelson}
And I allowed myself to feel all the feelings: frustration, disappointment, anger, sadness, relief, joy, peace. I cried. I yelled. I laughed through an entire song - so much so that my abs felt sore! I found my grounding and my self-love.
When initially I felt like throwing in the towel, I remembered the goddess I had chosen at the last new moon circle when these fears of "doing it right" began to surface: Brigit - "Don't back down". And so I didn't. I took the time and space to breathe and feel and release and breathe some more. I have a fear of abandonment, because I so often abandon myself and my body. So through the breathing I saw myself take my own hand and cradle my own heart. I will make the promise to myself everyday until it is so ingrained in me… the promise that I will always be there for ME and, as a child of the Universe, I am actually never alone.
So my encouragement to you is to face the things you are afraid of. Jump off the cliff or take that risk. When you make it to the other side (which I know you will), you will be able to say (with your superhero cape on), you survived! You've conquered that fear, so you don't need to let it stop you anymore!
"Bring on the wonder
Bring on the song
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long" {Sarah McLachlan}
This Thursday (7/9), come rain or shine, come one person or a hundred persons, I'll be breathing to release fear in order to choose more love. If you are in the NYC area, I'd love to have you join me. And if you're not able to attend, I am available for private sessions (in person or via phone/skype) to guide you through the scary places of fear and into the glorious spaces of light.
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